There are moments where I sit back in my life and Le Sigh. It’s been a rough couple of months but as Galatea just pronounced to me today, “I will no longer listen to anything you complain about. You’ve got it all.” To that I say, “Bitch is right.”
When your world crashes around you for one reason or another, you can’t help but step back, look at the wreckage and attempt to pick up the pieces. But for a time, you sit in the rubble and feel the loss of what you’ve built up. And slowly, you try to put your life together again, like Humpty Dumpty, but the fractures are there. Some pieces are missing or don’t fit, It seems like you’ll never feel whole again and you just aren’t what you used to be. Any other catastrophes that hit you shatter that fragile shell you tried to re-create around yourself and your left raw and exposed to the elements.
This was the point I had been at lately. And it was awful. And I felt alone. But the biggest lesson was that I wasn’t alone. Not at all. Not close. My friends near and far began to rebuild me. And I had to surrender to that and trust them to do so. I must have done something right in my life so far to be so lucky as to have people who would dig in and get to work on The Revitalizing Ava Project. And at some point, I became strong enough to rebuild myself and take the steps necessary to make myself all around more awesome.
Tonight Galatea and I had dinner with two dear friends. We ate a delicious meal, drank a lot of wine and laughed uproariously for hours. It was one of those nights where you look at the clock and it’s only 8:00 and the next minute it’s 11:00 and time for the good times to end. It’s nights like this when your friends leave and you almost cling to them in an embrace, trying to hold onto what you love most about them and what you just shared.
I sat back, took it in and knew, this is love.
I’m so in love with everyone who has had a hand in fixing me.
I can’t think of a better way to start a New Year…well, a Chinese New Year. Same thing.
It’s all fabulous.
Onward and upward, hos-
little miss ava
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