Lady Gaga is brilliant. There. I said it. It’s out there and there is no going back. Sure, I’m a fan of her music, and I think her style is crazy sick (in the fiercest way possible) but there is something else I’ve come to adore about her. Her persona is so blunt, unapologetic, and out there, and yet, she is shrouded in mystery. We have clues to the depths of her through her music, her videos and even the bizarre outfits she wears; yet we continue to wonder, “What is REALLY going on with her?” I believe that there is something to this as we put ourselves out there in the dating world time and time again. Shouldn’t we have layers to ourselves that protect a portion of who we really are? Shouldn’t select people get to see this EVENTUALLY? How can we be upfront and honest without letting our guard down?
Here’s the thing: I would love nothing more than to go around with platinum blonde hair, designer sunglasses, wearing a corset made of a disco ball and hot pants over fishnet stockings while carrying an umbrella. (It is moments likes these I wish I were a drag queen.) I think this would intrigue people yet keep them away from me. While I’m on this trip down daydream lane, I think I would also have a posse of male models playing music while I do fierce choreography down the streets of Chicago. Ahhhh a girl can dream. Luckily in real life I do indeed strut down the street. Anyhow, the point is that without all these theatrics, a “normal” girl must find other devices to protect her from all that is hurtful. We must deploy other defenses.
“The story of us, it always starts the same/with a boy and a girl and a (huh) and a game”
Yup. Hate the game and not the playas. We all have to play this goddamn game. It’s stupid, it’s lame and it just feels so counter-productive at some point when trying to find “that one special person.” (I just puked a little.) I’m sure you are all shocked to know that I am a blunt person and this translates very much into my dating life. And I have come to the conclusion that this scares guys. In fact, I’ve been told this. By several people. I guess this is my attempt to get rid of the game to some extent and to level the playing field, to look the guy in the eye and state my intentions and impressions. What is wrong with that? Apparently quite a bit, since it doesn’t work. At first, I think this brutal honesty protects Little Miss Ava. It separates the strong from the weak and who will put up with me. But somewhere along the line, if some dude sticks it out, this honesty turns against me and I find myself opening up more and more of myself.
And here is where I ask, WWLGD? How does one stay honest without giving all of themselves away? I feel at this point I should stress that in no way do I want to be aloof or a pretentious bitch. I hate that shit. I merely am searching for a more successful way of self-preservation.
This is the worst part. Letting this guy, who will turn into a monster of some kind, into your heart and your head. It happens. All the fucking time. Not just to me, but to my friends (see Rules to Dating My Friends.) And this just simply can’t happen anymore. For I no longer see the point of putting myself out there with nothing in return. I would rather have walls built high, shrouded in masks and costumes. Oh, and my career. And thus leads me to the last reason why I love La Gaga: her passion and drive to her career and her art.
“Je veux ton amour/Et je veux ton revanche/Je veux ton amour/I don't wanna be friends”
Sometimes it is just best to move on with life and make career and passions the focal point, once again. It’s fairly obvious that Lady Gaga is a sexual creature. Amen sister. But it would appear that she isn’t one for relationships. Her career and being Gaga is center stage. Who’s to say she doesn’t feel lonely at the top, but screw it. I think right about now I would rather conquer the world than be constantly tied down by going from one failed attempt at a relationship to another.
“And I know that it’s complicated/But I’m a loser in love/So baby raise a glass to mend/All the broken heart/Of all my wrecked up friends/ I’ll never talk again/Oh boy you’ve left me speechless/You’ve left me speechless so speechless”
