hey you with the penis!

Yeah, YOU. Let’s talk, asshole. And yes, clearly I’m an “angry bitch” and most likely listening to Fiona Apple’s rage right now. She remains so relevant to me. But I feel justified in all of this. So, let’s just put it out there, in a blind fury of words. Taste my pain, bitch!

I DON'T GET YOU AND YOUR KIND.

I just don’t. What’s wrong with you? HA. Why am I even asking? You don’t know! What do you want other than food, sex and other dudes to sit around and grunt with? Oh. That’s it? Really? Awesome.

Listen, I know women are complicated. Shit, I fully recognize I am a contradiction in terms. I’m sure we are very difficult to understand because we have so much going on, so many…complications. But YOU, fucker, are simple. So simple, in fact, it’s a challenge for our complicated-women brains to understand. You see, your lame and barbaric behavior makes us women neurotic. A simple text message, touch or look is up for interpretation, especially if we don’t know WHAT THE FUCK is going on inside your pea-brain. Personally, I HATE being that neurotic girl and I resent it when I'm made to feel that way. Jerk.

[At this point, I would like to address my dear male friends whom I turn to for advice and friendship. You guys are great. And although my words are harsh to you kind, on some level, I know you agree with me.]

Here’s what I wonder, in MY complicated pea-brain…at what point do you go from being a nice boy to an asshole dude treating girls like disposable things? Are you just programmed that way? When do you discover how to fuck us over, hurt us, leave us just generally fuck shit up?

For the longest time, I thought my future family would consist of three or four boys running around and me, and I would be the coolest mom (clearly). Now, I might have to agree with Galatea; Why raise someone that will turn into something completely foreign. My boys could think the world of me and treat me like the Queen I will be, but at some point, they will learn how to treat girls like shit. And that will break my heart. On the other hand, I don’t know if having a girl is what I will want to deal with either.
Cat Lady I shall be! yay.

Ok, listen. Here’s the Come to Jesus point. You don’t have to want a relationship. You don’t have to want to hang out anymore. You don’t have to like a girl anymore. You don’t have to want anything but someone to chill with. But..
You MAY want a relationship. Or not.
You MAY want to hang out.
You MAY want to do more than just chill.

You MAY just want to be friends.
You MAY want nothing. You MAY want everything.
So, do yourself a solid and GROW THE FUCK UP and be HONEST with us. Please.

As for me? My walls are up, my attitude is fierce and I will do what I need to do to be happy and strong. I deserve that much. And ladies, you deserve all the best too.

Vagina Power-
ava